Understanding Post-Wedding Anxiety: Why It Happens and How to Cope

What is Post-Wedding Anxiety?

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You’ve heard of pre-wedding jitters, but did you know many people experience anxiety after their wedding day? Newlywed Sierra Livermore, for example, had nightmarish dreams during her honeymoon, reliving the stress of wedding planning. She felt confused since weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

Common Feelings After the Wedding

Sierra later realized her anxiety stemmed from insecurities about what marriage should be like. She felt she couldn’t talk about her worries because people might think she was ungrateful or having problems in her relationship. According to New York-based psychotherapist Landis Bejar, this kind of post-wedding anxiety is very common.

Causes of Post-Wedding Anxiety

Bejar, who runs a therapy practice called AisleTalk, says many clients experience anxiety after their wedding. They wonder why they feel anxious about an event that went well. The anxiety can come from two main sources:

1. The bride had a blissful day but still feels anxious.
2. The bride can’t stop thinking about what went wrong.

For instance, Kelsey Wahl, 37, found herself fixating on small mistakes or things she forgot to do, even though her wedding went great.

Guest Satisfaction and Self-Reflection

Janelle Doll, 33, worried about whether her guests enjoyed the day. She kept wondering if doing things differently would have made the event more enjoyable for everyone. Bejar explains that these anxieties often reflect deeper issues, like a lack of self-advocacy. One of her patients discovered her anxiety was due to not voicing her desires to her wedding planner.

Cultural Expectations and Stress

Licensed clinical psychologist Erik Nook, an assistant professor at Princeton University, says cultural expectations contribute to post-wedding anxiety. Weddings are often advertised as the happiest day of a person’s life, creating pressure and stress. Major life milestones can be stressful because they challenge our mental and physical capabilities and lead to self-judgment.

Coping Strategies

Nook suggests focusing on positive memories to combat post-wedding anxiety. Look at photos that bring back happy moments and re-read guest book notes or wedding cards. Trust that when people say it was a wonderful day, they mean it.

Emily Niksefat, 34, found relief by talking with guests about their experiences and reflecting on her feelings as a guest at other weddings. She realized she would never judge another bride harshly, so she stopped being so critical of herself.

Conclusion

Post-wedding anxiety is a common experience. By understanding its causes and focusing on positive memories, newlyweds can better cope with their feelings. Remember, your wedding doesn’t have to be perfect to be great.

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Sources:

• The Guardian
• AisleTalk Therapy Practice
• Princeton University